bigfoot

 

'The woman behind the British Bigfoot Research has claimed that the animal, whose existence has been dismissed by the majority of scientists, lives in the United Kingdom. Deborah Hatswell, a grandmother of two, said that her encounter with the ape-like creature, which resembles man, scarred her for life.

Speaking to British tabloid Daily Star, Hatswell said that she saw something at the age of 15 which changed her course of life and she still has not recovered from the trauma. The 52-year-old from Worsley, Greater Manchester claimed that the creature looked like a hybrid of an ape and a man.

Hatswell said that the creature was not the issue but the effect of such creature on that person and the constant worry of seeing something that does not exist. She saw the animal during her childhood and searched for people who could explain the event or at least provide a reasonable explanation for it.'

Stories like this have been circulating across the British Isles for many years now. It is closely guarded secret by the authorities that control this sort of information that bigfoots live in many of this island's forests and woodland areas.

I myself found myself one morning waking up from a delicious sleep whilst camping in the Wyre Forest to strange sounds of slap bass. On further investigation into these mysterious yet funky sounds I was surprised, no, astonished, to find a bigfoot thumbing his way through some pretty nifty Mark Kingesque slappery.

This is not surprising however if this matter is given the thought it deserves. American bigfoots of course have access to a wealth of rhythm and blues based music forms which are the venacular of their appointed residence. They are as likely to be found playing be bop jazz or maybe some light fusion like David Sanborn.

But here in the UK this sort hip jiggling jazz improvisation has been entirely represented by those jazz funksters from the Isle of Wight, Level 42.

So to find a British bigfoot resorting to this kind of syncopated expression is not really that surprising.

And so with these thoughts in my mind I watched this spectacle from behind a small bush that was located near this bigfoot's makeshift stage.

Luckily I was armed with a basic but adequate camera and a rudimentary recording studio set up that I was able to quickly erect amongst the flora and fauna. And O what a beauty was captured by my expectant erection!

And so I am pleased to be able to use the power of the world wide web to bring not only visual evidence of this fascinating bigfoot behaviour but also recorded evidence of actual bigfoot music making.

For those of you that have had to put up with the free jazz wailings on offer on youtube of the quite frankly inferior music of our American bigfoot cousins, this will be a welcome titbit. A chance to hear that British bigfoots are more than capable of taking on any other mythical ape/humanoid creature when it comes to getting down and dirty in E minor.

And now please consider this quote...

'If it's written down, it's most likely true'

Mahatma Gandhi