The Chaos Generator

All fear is rooted the the ultimate fear of our own impending death

John's story

When John’s mother died when he was three years old, he was too young to really understand what had happened, he just felt hurt that his mother had gone away. When he was fifteen years of age, John had a hard time trusting women – he often complained that women left him and let him down a lot when he most needed them. Other people felt that women were really good to him and helped him a lot.

Fiona's story

Fiona when a small girl could get her father to do anything she really wanted. Indeed as she grew up she was very good at managing to get men to do what she wanted. Later, she was fired from several jobs by her bosses who said they felt she was manipulating them.

Freda's story

As a child, Freda’s parents argued a lot and her major method of defense was to withdraw and spend a lot of time alone going for long walks. At eighteen she got sacked from many jobs for daydreaming and fantasizing. In her personal life, she would withdraw mentally if her friends argued with her. They got fed up with her and left.

These children still exist inside John, Fiona and Freda

They feel rejected, withdrawn and alone. Children hate to be alone. It is their biggest fear to find themselves on their own in a big city with no one to help them. Like Snow White cast into the forest we all began our life within this fear. 

It is the ultimate fear of slipping out of reach, of being abandoned, and left to drift into eternal nothingness.

This is the ultimate fear.

And sometimes the story we wrote when we were can in certain circumstances remind us of this ultimate fear. Our inner child can now see this threat in our current lives.

They try to warn us.

We tell them to shut up.

They start to play up.

We repress their attention seeking.

They start to panic, they want to run, to get away, to get help.

And we grab them, hold their writhing body still, yell in their face....

'stop it, be quiet, no one wants to hear this'

What should you really do when a child feels like this? (imagine the best course of action right now)

Now do this for your inner child. Reassure them that their story is different now, That they are strong now, that they know what to do, where to go, who to speak to and what to say.

That they exist. That they have a right to be here and a right to feel how they do.

That the world will help them if they ask.

Rewrite the story for this child.

Rewrite your story.

It may take some time, it may need you to stay focused, it may need a a bit of editing and plot development here and there.

But you can rewrite this story.

You really can because you are all grown up now and you answer to no one except yourself.